Applehead calls out the Doo-Doo Heads

One of the universities I considered attending as I left high school was the University of Missouri. They were the only major college that showed interest in me as a basketball player, although to be transparent, they never actually offered me a scholarship.  I was going to study journalism because they were famous for that. Those were the days.

Recently, they’ve been in the news.  What caught my eye was that the students who feel as if something “hurtful” has been said to them are encouraged to call the cops.  Ideally, they will also have a photograph of the rude person and maybe the license number of the verbal assailant’s motor vehicle, if they had one.

My high school basketball coach called me lots of “hurtful” words.  I wasn’t the only one he hurt with words, but I was the only one he called “apple head.”  It brings tears to my eyes just to write about it, so damaged was I.  My friends and I called each other much worse names, the majority of them good, robust, healthy Anglo-Saxonisms that did not require too many letters of the alphabet to spell.  We all survived.  Big deal.

As for the dear students at the University of Missouri looking for hurtful words so they can call the cops, they’re just a bunch of snowflakes who would melt easily at first chance.  Besides that, they’re all a bunch of doo-doo heads.  Now, go ahead and call the cops on me.

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