I like (most) children. What I do not like is children being manipulated to sell everything from used cars (tiny voice: “Get a great deal at Paw Paw’s Cars.”) to heat pumps (squeaky little voice: “Go to Dinglebutt’s Heating and Cooling. That’s my daddy!”). Usually it’s the parents’ idea, I suspect. A chance for the world to discover their precious little future American Idle dropout while making a couple of bucks using the child.
A recent, local ad on the radio is a prime example. A little girl says something like this: “Mommy, why does Grandpa not like me?” It turns out it’s a hearing aid commercial, but every time I hear that ad on the radio, I turn it off and answer: “Well, little princess, it’s because you’re a shallow, insipid, conceited, and self-centered little twit who is never satisfied unless she’s entertained every waking moment and catered to as if you were a drug-soaked rock star. If you weren’t such a demanding little thorn in everyone’s side, maybe more people, including Grandpa, could stand to be around you. Clearly, you’re going to be a selfish, high-maintenance, whiny drama queen who will turn everyone away because you want to the Most Important Person in the Room. And you’re not.
I feel better now, but I just had to vent for my mental health. Let children be children.