Peculiarly Potent Potpourri

This posting, dear readers, will be short, a veritable potpourri of bits and pieces that have lingered on my mind. Hope you enjoy.

First, I will be killed in a parking lot, and not by muggers. You heard it here first. I will not pass away sweetly in my sleep, be killed in a car wreck, or fall victim to a plunging and fiery meteorite (although, in a sense, that would be cool). No, I will be killed in a parking lot by some dimwit who is doing one or any combination of the following: mistaking the gas pedal for the brake, applying makeup, confusing reverse and drive, buzzed on drugs and/or alcohol, reading a map, chatting on a cell phone, or spilling a hot drink in their lap. Just thought I’d let you know because I’ve had several close calls. I am to parking lot peabrains what trailer parks are to tornadoes. Just sayin’.

Speaking of tornadoes, my long-suffering wife and I recently returned from a 2,800 mile trip to Iowa and Oklahoma, where we survived a midnight tornado. In a single wide. My sister assured me that we were okay, and that the single wide was anchored by steel cables in concrete. Which meant that the single wide would stay put. All that told me was that we would be sucked through the roof  into a raging, black vortex of death. My wife woke up, realized that our affairs were in good order, and went back to sleep. I remained wide awake for the two hours of the storm, concentrating on naming the capitols of the states. But, because we weren’t in a parking lot, we dodged that one.

Anyway, on the trip, I noticed the names of rivers. And it occurred to me that, if a river has a name, the source of that name should be in that river. Buffalo River should have a buffalo. Spoon River should have a spoon. And French Broad River should have a, well, never mind.

On the above-mentioned trip, we passed through a town in Missouri. Peculiar town. I mean, that was the name of the town. Peculiar, Missouri. I’m serious. Which led to all kinds of weird thoughts in my head. What do you call the sports teams? The Peculiar Perverts, with a mascot being a man in a raincoat? One would be born in the Peculiar Hospital, go to Peculiar schools, have Peculiar friends. And so on. Although as far as names go, I’m partial to Frog Level, North Carolina. Or Lost Nation, Iowa. What fun!

My younger daughter, acclaimed published poet, wedding planner, and book concierge, recently drove by an empty church that was up for sale. By owner. With a phone number. Think about that.

Enough rambling.

ALERT! In my next blog, I will offer up, free of charge, the prologue to my upcoming novel, Signs of Struggle, due out come autumn. Stay tuned, dear readers. And thanks for stopping by.

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2 Responses to Peculiarly Potent Potpourri

  1. Trainor says:

    John … Going from Kinston to Greenville, NC there is a small green and white sign with an arrow pointing to Tick Bite. I have had thoughts about borrowing that sign many times as most preople would never believe me. Also not to far from Intercourse, PA that was previously mentioned … is its cousin Blue Ball. I will let you figure out which one comes first. Trainor

  2. Erin says:

    I actually know a family that bought a church, renovated it and lived in it as a house. It was a small little out of the way church, and it made a lovely house (they kept some of the less religious stained glass…cause your center window depicting guy on a cross may be a little weird.) But I can’t imagine doing that to a huge church, with a large paved parking lot and even larger steeple. THAT would be weird.
    Glad you weren’t in a parking lot during the tornado. If you stay our of parking lots, does this mean you can cheat death?

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